Where I’m At
There’s a lot of confusion where I’m at, still I find hope.
There’s a lot of cloudy skies where I’m at, still I find a way to see the stars each night.
My life has been thrown way off track where I’m at, still I find ways to get to where I need to be.
There is a lot of hate lately where I’m at, still I continue to pursue my life through LOVE.
I have noticed many weak points in myself where I’m at, still I am strong.
And though many people have left me where I’m at, I have always had God.
What do I say? Would it change things anyway? Everything changes, but how do we know when to just walk away? Nervously I find myself holding on. How did we wind up like this? I find myself imagining the chances deserved to us constantly. Constantly praying, “Dear God please help me. Please help us. The desire of my heart is stronger then ever. Do you ever think about all the time we’re wasting? The memories we could have had? I’ve learned to value any time granted with you to the fullest, because its so very rare. I can’t see myself giving up on you, bit I could definitely see myself going through struggles for you. Sleeping has never been such a great part of my life since you’ve become dream. I pray for progress between the two of us…
Monday June 27, 2011
Lately I’ve been allowing things to bother me. Truth is I have no control right now and they only effect me when I give the opportunity. Therefore, lets just see what happens. All things take place in time. So I shall grant that time needed. I just need to stick to my morales. God will do the rest. Peace of mind. Rhythm of the heart. Depth of the soul. Laughter heard ‘round the world.
Friday June 24, 2011
Music really does calm the soul. Today I realized even more how ready I am to leave. I feel like I have one foot out the door already. I want my favorite time of the year to end. And I’m not trying to start anything I can’t finish. I need to start making smart decisions again. Still, that doesn’t mean I will ignore what my heart wants. That may be the only stupid decision I allow myself to make….
Thursday June 23, 2011
Its almost 10pm and find myself at the park by myself. I came to think and clear my mind, but before I know it I’m on the ground crying out. A cry for help to God. Please help me. Hypocrasy tends to follow me. Still my heart has many questions. I need a fair chance. The chance I know I deserve. We deserve. Please…..
Wednesday 22, 2011 continued
Chance. Change. Two words that we rarely see in action. People are to afraid to chance things these days. There’s no risk. Even when it could be the difference between settling and actually being happy. Just play or safe. There’s nothing in this world without chance. Something everybody deserves. Then there’s change. It may be only six letters long, but in reality, this word is so much bigger. To some its letting go of everything you’ve ever known. To others, it may be be as little as a diet. But no matter how bog or little it scares us. As long as fear stops these things, can we really say WE made our decisions?? Chance. Change. Two words everybody wants, but isn’t willing to give….
Wednesday 22, 2011
The ride to Red Rocks is always relaxing. Good friends, music, and the scenery is awesome. Great thinking time nonetheless. Hoping for a good day today. A productive day. Day by day in the unknown. Really hard when your heart is set somewhere and you have little to no control. Well here’s to my thoughts and here’s to my heart, both of which are dedicated to you….
Tuesday June 21, 2011
Everything happens for a reason. So it is said. But how can we be so sure?? I know God has a plan for me, but why must everything be some kind of game? If we ain’t guessing something (jeapordy), we’re trying to fit in or find missing pieces and put them together (Tetris). And in every game such as life itself, patience is key. One day at a time doesn’t seem so easy anymore. But I guess it’s really all I can do now. Please God, grant me this desire of my heart. …
Monday June 20, 2011
Today I had a lot on my mind. Crazy the things we make important to us. The little things that bother us. I will not stray from the wants of my heart. The rain was refreshing however and well, work is over. Thank you God! And I know I will have what my heart wants because I believe God will help me along the way.